What a beautiful thought.
What do you think you were in a previous life?
Oh, l don't know.
Maybe l was just...
...a fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys.
Oh, no, Amy.
Pardon me for saying so, but l find that very far-fetched.
-There really is something l must tell you. -That person would come back as a hog.
l find it more likely that you were...
...a gazelle...
...with long, graceful legs, gamboling through the underbrush.
Perhaps we met once.
A chance encounter in a forest glade.
l must have been an antelope or an ibex.
The times we must've had foraging together for sustenance...
...snorfling water from a mountain stream...
...picking the grubs and burrs from one another's coats.
Or perhaps we simply touched horns briefly and went our separate ways.
Oh, l wish it were that simple, Norville.
l wish l was still a gazelle and you were an antelope...
...or an ibex.
Can l at least call you...
...deer?
You're funny.
Seriously, Amy, it's what your beatnik friends call ''karma.''
Karma.
The great circle of life, death and rebirth.
l think l heard of that. What goes around comes around.
That's it. A great wheel that gives us all what we deserve.
l've go to show Sid and all the guys l deserve their confidence.
Tomorrow's my big presentation to the board.
Kiss me, Amy!
Kiss me once for luck.
Sure, Norville.
You know, for kids!
lt has economy, simplicity, low production cost, potential for mass appeal.
All that spells out great profitability.
l had the boys at R&D make this prototype...
...so our discussion could have some focus...
...and to give you gentleman a firsthand look at how exciting this gizmo is.
lt's fun, healthy, good exercise, and the kids'll love it.
We put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
The great part is we don't have to charge an arm and a leg.
-What if you tire before it's done? -Does it have rules?
-Can more than one play? -Why is it a game?
-ls it a game? -Will it break?
-lt better break eventually. -ls there an object?
-What if you tire before it's done? -Does it have batteries?
-Could we charge extra for them? -ls it safe for toddlers?
-How do you know you're finished? -How does it stop?
-ls that a boy's model? -Can a parent assemble it?
-What if you tire before it's done? -ls there a larger model for the obese?
What the hell is it?
Well, it's....
Brilliant!
Genius.
lt's exactly what Hudsucker lndustry needs at this juncture.
Even a blind man can tell you there'll be an enormous demand for this...
...this....
Congratulations.
You've outdone yourself. You've reinvented the wheel.
l'll recommend to the board that we proceed immediately...
...and that the...
...dingus be mass-produced with all deliberate speed.
Although, you realize...
...of course...
...as president...
...the ultimate decision is yours.
l'm for it.
The Flying Doughnut!
-The Dancing Dingus! -The Belly-Go-Round.
The Swingerina!
The Wacky Circumference!
Uncle Midriff!
-We need something short! -Sharp!
Snappy!
-With a little jazz! -The Shazzammeter!
-The Hipster! -The Daddy-O!
-The Hoopsucker. -The Hudswinger.
-The Hoopsucker! -The Hudswinger!
-Fellas! -You got something?
l got something!
Rockwell News presents: Tidbits of Time.
World news in pictures, we kid you not!
As Old Man 1958 hobbles towards his finish...
...Barnes is the name on every American lip.
Norville Barnes, young president of Hudsucker Industries...
...a boy bred in the heartland, but now the toast of New York.
Barnes is the brainy inventor of America's craziest craze: The Hula Hoop!
Reaping huge profits for his company and winning the hearts...
...and hips of every youngster in America!
Did I say youngster?
Here's Mom taking a break from her household chores...
...and even Dad is swinging into the act!
Cards, letters, congratulations come pouring in from Kankakee to Petaluma...
...including one very special long-distance call.
He's on! He's on the line!
Hello, Norville. This is the President.
Ijust wanted to congratulate you. I'm very proud of you.
Mrs. Eisenhower is very proud of you.
The American people are very proud of you.
How'd you come up with the idea for the Hula Hoop?
lt was no great idea, really.
A thing like this takes a whole company to put together. l'm grateful.
Did you have any idea there'd be such a huge response?
Frankly, l don't think anybody expected this much hoopla.
''Hoopla on the Hula Hoop.'' Can we quote you on that, Mr. Barnes?
Sure, l guess.
Will you give yourself a nice, fat raise?
Come on, you guys.
What scientific principle explains the motion of this wheel of wonder?
The dingus is quite simple, really.
It operates on the same principles that keep the earth spinning around the sun...
...and that keeps you from flying off the earth into the cold reaches of space...
...where you would die like a miserable Schwein.
Yes, the principle is the same...
...except for the piece of grit they put in to make the experience...
...more pleasant.
Yes, it's hula-hula everywhere!
From the parties of the Park Avenue smart set...
...to sweethearts who want to be married in the swing of things.
Did the board consider you an ''ldea Man'' when they promoted you?
l guess. l don't think they promoted me because they thought l was a schmo.
What's the next big idea for you and Hudsucker lndustries?
l don't know. An idea like this sweet baby doesn't just come overnight.
Although, l'll tell you one thing: l certainly didn't expect all this hoopla.
You can quote me on that.
Rumpus Magazine has called you the most eligible bachelor of the year.
And society pages have been linking you with fashion model Za-Za.
There's no truth to the rumors. We're just dear friends. lsn't that right?
How do you respond to the charges that you're out of ideas? Have you run dry?
Not at all. Just this week l came up with several new sweet ideas.
A larger model Hula Hoop for the portly, a battery option for the lazy or spastic.
A model with extra sand for the hard-of-hearing.
l'm earning my keep.
Speaking of that, do you expect to get a raise?
By anyone's account l single-handedly have saved Hudsucker lndustries.
Our stock is worth more now than ever. Yes, l expect to be compensated for that.
Pull yourself together, man.
Nobody told me!
You sold all our stock?
We dumped the whole load.
l had 20,000 shares!
l'd be a millionaire now!
Sure. We'd all be millionaires.
There's no point in looking back.
At the time, Stillson thought that dumping our position would panic the market...
...further depress the stock.
Then we could buy it back and more, of course, once it got cheap.
Cheap?
lt's never been more valuable!
And l'm ruined.
Ruined!
l'm getting off this merry-go-round!
Plexiglass.
Had it installed last week.
So, the kid caught a wave.
Right now, he and his dingus are on top.
Well, this too shall pass.
Myrtle J. Mussburger did not raise her boy to go...
...knock-kneed at the first sign of adversity.
l say, we made this chump, we can break him!
l say, the higher he climbs, the harder he drops!
l say, yes...
...the kid has a future...
...and in it...
...l see shame, dishonor...
...ignominy, disgrace.
The music plays, the wheel turns...
...and our spin ain't over yet.
For Pete's sakes, Norville!
Where have you been hiding?
Do you know what those nincompoops in the boardroom are doing?
l wouldn't call them nincompoops.
They're going to discharge 8%%% of the workforce here!
ln New York City alone, that means 1,800 people out of work!
People with wives, children and families!
We're pruning away some of the dead wood.
You mean you know about this?
Know about it? Sure.
You think the board would do anything without my authorization?
lt was my idea.
-Your-- -Sure it was.
We're in a period of transition. Things have slowed down.
You're being awfully kind to yourself, Norville Barnes.
You've slowed down, sitting up here not doing a lick of work.
You haven't come up with an idea since the Hoop and the reason is plain to see!
You've forgotten what made your ideas exciting to you.
lt wasn't for the fame and wealth....
Would you get out of here? You too, sisters, move it. Out!
l've been watching you, even though you've been trying to avoid me.
Shut up!
Don't think l haven't noticed how you've changed.
l used to think you were a swell guy.
To be honest, l thought you were an imbecile.
Shut up!
Then l figured out you were a swell guy. A little slow maybe, but a swell guy.
Maybe you're not so slow but you're not so swell either.
Looks like you're an imbecile, after all. Shut up!
You haven't talked to me for a week and now l'm going to say my piece.
Look, l've never been...
...dumped by a fella before, and that hurts...
...but what really hurts is watching you out-run your soul!
Chasing after money and ease and the respect of a board...
...that wouldn't give you the time of day...
...if you....
Worked in a watch factory?
Shut up! Exactly.
Norville, don't you remember how you used to feel about the Hoop?
You told me you'd bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America...
...regardless of race, creed or color.
Finally, there'd be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together...
...even if it kept them apart spatially.
''You know...
''...for kids.''
Your words...
...not mine.
l used to love Norville Barnes.
Yes, love him...
...when he was just a swell kid with hot ideas who was in over his head.
Now your head's too big to be in over!
Consider this my resignation.
Effective immediately!
Buddy, buddy.
Buddy.
Oh, buddy.
Buddy. You busy?
Looks like you nodded off there, buddy. Say, you got a minute?
ls this important?
l think so. lt's this little idea l've been working on.
You see, l don't intend to be an elevator boy forever.
Take a look at this sweet baby!
Get it? lncredibly convenient, isn't it?
You know, for drinks?
This is how it works. lt's got these ridges on the side that give it its whammy.
You don't have to drink like this. You can drink like this.
l call it the ''Buzz-Sucker.'' You get it, buddy?
People are dying for this and we won't have to charge an arm and a leg.
Wait a minute.
This...
...is worthless!
But, buddy!
This is the most idiotic thing l've ever seen in my life.
Nobody wants a hair-brained product like this.
You see, Buzz...
...it lacks the creative spark...
...the unalloyed genius that made something like, say...
...the Hula Hoop such a success.
How dare you barge in here and take up my valuable time!
l've got a company to run!
l can't have every deadbeat on the payroll pestering me...
...with their idiotic brainwaves.
l'm sorry, buddy.
An example must be made!
What do you mean?
You're fired!
ls that plain enough for you?
Oh, buddy!
And don't call me ''buddy''!
Oh, please, sir! This job running the elevator, it's all l got!
lt's okay if you don't like the Buzz-Sucker!
Just let me keep my job, l'm praying to you!
Get out of my office!
Get up! Up!
We don't crawl here at Hudsucker lndustries!
l'm sorry, sir!
l'm sorry!
Thank you, Aloysius.
This is...
...useful.
l'm sorry l'm late, Sid. That back nine at Riverdale's really murder.
lt's a tough course. A real lollapalooza.
Sit down, son.
l thought the boardroom would be a swell place to chat undisturbed.
Seems we've got some security problems here at the Hud.
You don't say.
Ordinarily, l wouldn't bother you with it, but this is embarrassing.
lt concerns you directly.
-How's that? -lt's not serious in itself.
Some elevator boy that you'd fired came to me...
...claiming that you'd stolen the idea for the dingus.
You'd stolen it from him.
-Maybe l was a little rough on him-- -Forget it.
You don't have to explain to me. He's a little person. He's nothing.
Fire whoever you want.
No, the problem is...
...who you hired.
That dame.
A spy, as it turns out.
She must have gotten to that elevator schnook...
...and her paper is going to town.
Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story, but the Argus won't play ball.
The problem the board will have is you hired this woman...
...and you kept her on...
...while she was making a chump out of you.
Serious error in judgement.
Business is war, kid.
Take no prisoners, give no second chances.
When the board meets after New Year's...
...your position....
Looks like you're finished.
Washed up.
Fourteenth hole at Riverdale...
...some use a mashie...
...some use a niblick.
Niblick.
You get more loft, more backspin.
That dame...
...she got your throat pretty well slit.
When you're dead, you stay dead.
You don't believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker.
Tough luck, kid.
You had a short climb up.
lt's a long way down.
-You can't print that! -We are! She hits the streets tonight.
And she's dynamite!
But it's the bunk! Norville showed me his design for the whatsit the day l met him.
Buzz couldn't have invented it. Look at him, he's an imbecile.
Aren't you a broken record? Gunderson did design it. He's a prodigy.
-Says who? -You're not the only one with sources.
Smith has a senior source on the Hud Board. Very senior.
l bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger.
You lost it. You gone soft, by the looks of it.
Soft on the dummy from Dubuque.
-Muncie. -Whatever!
This story's hot and you're no longer on top of it. lt's the scoop of the century!
The other papers won't have this till tomorrow!
Allemeinisher Zeitung, Le Figaro will be choking on our dust come morning.
You're fools, both of you! You're being used, don't you see?
Take a break. You worked hard on this. You broke it for us.
But it's passed you by and Smith's taking up the slack.
You want slack...
...l'll give you slack!
You're not putting me out to pasture! l quit! Consider this my resignation!
Effective immediately!
Soft.
So, tell me...
...why do you feel this woman betrayed you?
What's the difference?
The whole world, it seems, is against you?
I don't know.
Und the elevator boy...
...Buzz, he too works against you?
Classic.
Patient displayed listlessness, apathy, gloomy indifference...
...und was blue und mopey.
When asked what the Rorschach stains represented, patient replied:
''Nothing much. l don't know. Just a blotch. Sure beats me.''
Patient shows no ambition, no get-up-and-go, no vim.
He is riding the grand loopen-ze-loop...
...that goes from the height of delusional gaiety...
...to the trough of despair.
He is now near, but not yet at his lowest point.
When he reaches bottom, he may erupt und pose a danger to himself...
...and others.
Diagnosis, Dr. Bromfenbrenner?
Patient is eine manic-depressive paranoid, type B...
...with acute schizoid tendencies.
So, patient is...?
Precisely.
Nuts!
Prescription?
Three things: Commitment...
...electroconvulsive therapy...
...maintenance in eine secure facility.
Yeah, he's a tall guy. A real mess.
Look, you better get down here. He says he's a friend of yours.
He didn't say. But, man, is he from Squaresville.
l want a martini!
lt's New Year's Eve. l deserve a martini.
lt's like l've been telling you--
l thought you served misfits here!
That's a roger. But we don't sell alcohol.
What kind of bar doesn't serve martinis?
lt's a juice-and-coffee bar, man, like l've been telling you.
Right. So, l want...
...a martini.
l've had a martini in every bar on the way down here.
Martinis are for squares, man.
What'd you call me, you beatnik son of a--
Look who's here:
Amy Archer...
...Prizeter Pule winner.
Looking for a nitwit to buy you lunch?
-Bar fella, l'd like... -l'm sorry.
...a martini, please.
l tried to tell you so many times, l....
lt's hard to admit...
...when you've been wrong.
lf you could just...
...find it in your heart...
...to give me another chance.
''You take no prisoners, give no second chances.''
Please, Norville! Please give me one more chance!
And yourself, too!
We both deserve one.
Just give us a second chance. Together we can fight this thing.
l know the last story was a lie and we can prove it. Release a statement!
-l can help you write it! -What's the difference?
l'm all washed up.
Extinct.
Homo sapiens sapicus.
That just about does it.
l've seen Norville Barnes, the young man in a big hurry...
...and l've seen Norville Barnes, the self-important heel.
But l've never seen Norville Barnes, the quitter...
...and l don't like it.
''Fight on
''Fight on, dear old Muncie
''Fight on Hoist the gold and blue
''You'll be tattered, torn and hurting
''Once the Munce is done with you
''Go...
''...Eagles! ''
You can't surrender, Norville! Remember:
''Fight on
''Dear old Muncie
''Fight on
''Hoist the gold and blue
''You'll be tattered, torn...
''...and hurting....''
You lied to me.
How could you lie to me?
You...
...a Muncie girl.
But, Norville, l--
''When you're dead, you stay dead! ''
Just ask...
...Waring Hudsucker!
Extra, extra!
New Year's Eve edition!
Barnes' brain caught red-handed!
ldeas ersatz!
Man from Muncie a moron after all!
Read all about it!
New Year's Eve edition! Man from Muncie a moron after all!
You're not so slow, but you're not so swell.
And it looks like you're an imbecile after all.
But your friends called you "'dope?"'
"'Dipstick?"' "'Lamebrain?"' "'Schmo?"'
Please, buddy, running the elevator, it's all I got.
Norville, you let me down.
You let Mrs. Eisenhower down. You let the American people down.
And when you're dead, you stay dead.
The kid is screwy, it's official.
The barred-window boys are out looking for him now.
We'll see how Wall Street likes the news...
...that the president of Hudsucker is heading for the booby hatch.
When Doc Bromfenbrenner gets through with him...
...he'll need diapers and a dribble cup.
lf that's all....
Long live the Hud!
Watch where you're--
Hiya, buddy!
Out on the town? Guess what?
Mr.... Sid says l can have my old job back!
l deserve a second chance, he says.
He did?
Turns out he's not such a bad guy after all.
That's wonderful.
He said you stole that swell hoop idea from me. What gives?
l would never--
Gee, that was a swell idea.
And Sid says you stoled it!
What are you waiting for? Pop him one!
He's that big-shot faker!
That Wall Street fraud!
Nuttier than a fruitcake!
Somebody call the cops!
Ring out the old, ring in the new!
Strictly speaking, l'm never supposed to do this...
...but have you got a better idea?
Love that tune. How you doing, kid?
Mr. Hudsucker?
How do you like that thing? They're all wearing them upstairs.
lt's a fad.
Anyway...
...l see you've been having some...
...problems with the board.
l guess Sidney's been putting the screws to you, Norman.
Norville.
Say what you like about his ethics, he's a balls-to-the-wall businessman.
Beat you any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective.
Any particular reason you didn't give him my blue letter?
Norman, just a dying man's last words and wishes, no big deal.
l must've mislaid it.
lt's in your apron pocket, right where you left it.
lmbecile.
Failure to deliver a blue letter is grounds for dismissal.
lt's New Year's. l'm not going to add to your woes.
Want to read it? You might learn something.
Might keep you from jumping out of any more windows.
''Blue letter from the desk of Waring Hudsucker...
''...to Sidney J. Mussburger, regarding my demise.
''Dear Sid:
''By the time you read this, l will have joined the organization upstairs...
''...an exciting new beginning. l will retain fond--''
Memories.
''Of the years you and l have spent--''
Standard resignation boilerplate. Go down to the second paragraph.
''You will no doubt be wondering why l've decided...
''...to end my tenure both at Hudsucker and here on earth.
''From the standpoint of our balance sheet and financials...
''...sure, we're doing fine.
''But in my personal life, l have made grave errors.
''l let my success become my identity.
''l have foolishly played the great man...
''...and watched my life become more and more empty as a result.
''My vanity drove away she...
''...who could've saved me.
''Yes, l loved a woman once, Sid, as you well know.
''A beautiful, vibrant lady...
''...and angel who, in her wisdom, saw fit to choose you instead of l.''
Skip this part.
Next page. Next page!
''This brings me to our company, Sid, and its future.
''Our next president must have the liberty l have had as owner...
''...to experiment and even fall...''
Fail.
''...without fear of the whims of the stockholders or an impatient board.
-''The new president must be free to fall...'' -Fail!
''...and learn to fail...''
Fall!
''...and rise again by applying...
''...what he has learned.
''Such is business.
''Such is life.
''Accordingly, l hereby bequeath...
''...all of my shares in Hudsucker lndustry...
''...to whomever you and the board shall elect...
''...to succeed me as president.
''l assume this will be you.
''lf not, if the board chooses someone else to be president...
''...then, then....''
Tough titty toenails!
That'll show the bastard!
Go ahead.
''l urge you to work with the new president...
''...and to remind him when he needs to be reminded...
''...that failure should never lead to despair.
''Despair looks only to the past...
"'...in business...
''...and in love.''
The future is now.
"'The future is now.
''When our future president needs it...
"'...Waring Hudsucker...
"'...hereby bequeaths him...
''...his second chance.''
Deliver that letter in the morning!
And so began 1959.
The New Year.
When he learned that Norville owned the company, Sidney was upset at first.
It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there...
...because he was able to keep Sidney from harming himself.
He prescribed a long rest in the sana.... In the sanatory....
In the booby hatch.
Now, Norville...
...he went on and ruled with wisdom and compassion...
...and started dreaming up them exciting new ideas again.
You know, for kids.
l had the boys down at R&D throw together this prototype...
...so our discussion could have focus...
...and to give you gentlemen of the board a firsthand look.
That's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed way up...
...to the 44th floor of the Hudsucker building...
...and then fell all the way down, but didn't quite squish himself.
You know, they say there was a man whojumped from the 45th floor.
But that's another story.